Sunday, April 15, 2012

"Pop" That's My Bubble Bursting

This past week I totally had my mom bubble popped.  For the first time I ran into a situation where I contacted another mom about a situation involving our children and the other mom was not interested in working together to find a solution.  I was devastated.

First of all, it is not like it is easy to call another parent and bring up an issue that kids are having.  This is not fun to do with close friends or acquaintances. I have previously forced myself to have these conversations because I approach parenting with a team perspective.  We are all parents and we are all  trying to raise our little humans to leave the world better than they found it.  This task is less daunting when we work together and I had never called a parent before who did not feel the same way. So, I once again took the leap and called the other parent.

I did not call accusing or blaming.  I just wanted to make the other parent aware of the situation so that we could both parent with all the information.  I was completely taken off guard when instead of taking the information as a starting point for us to work from she actually told me that it wasn't true.  This took me completely off guard.  Really??  Not true???  I had considered many avenues the conversation might take but I had not even considered this one.  Why would I make this stuff up??  I was dumbfounded.

I approached the topic again and reiterated that I was not angry and that I did not think that anyone had done anything to purposefully cause a problem but that there is in fact a problem.  I told her that I felt that we would be best equipped to parent our children if we were in communication and had all of the information.  She was not interested to say the least and told me that the school had not contacted her and until they did it was best if the parents just stayed out of the kids way.

Wow.  I hung up the phone and I cried.  I cried because my feelings were hurt.  I cried because I had presented myself the best I knew how and was shut out.  I cried because I sincerely do care what kind of human her child grows up to be.  I cried because she does not care what kind of human my child grows up to be much less help each other out.  I cried because I know that we are better as a team than individuals.

Don't worry, I am not still laying in a puddle.  I sucked it up and have regained my footing, but it took me the rest of the day and some of the night.  I realize now that there is not anything I could have done to make her want to work together.  That makes me sad but it does not change the way I parent.  I am thankful for the people we have on our parenting team and I will continue to approach people from this perspective.

 I have also decided that it is not helpful to continue fantasizing about landing a good soap opera slap across this lady's face.  I am still working on that....

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