Saturday, July 2, 2011

Online Dating

Our family has moved several times in the last few years and Facebook has been a total lifesaver!  We are able to stay connected to people from everywhere we have lived and it has provided me a buffet of friend choices.  One of the most interesting things has been to see which friendships grow.  Many of them are not people that it is easy for me to physically hang out with, or people that I appear to have much in common.   That has not seemed to matter.  We can still follow each others journey and lend a perspective when needed.  I have grown to value each of these women and I wanted to actually hug them while I was in town. 

At first I was nervous about finding the time to hang out with each of them and, with some of them, I was even nervous to ask if they wanted to hang out because we had mainly been friends online.  Would they still like me if we hung out in person?  What if they didn't really like me and they only chatted with me on FB becuase they are polite?  Did I have the courage to make the first move? 

I decided to go for it.  I messaged each girl and asked them to a girls night.  Most of us were familiar to each other but the group would have probably seemed random to anyone not familiar with my daily news-feed chatter.  I had been dating all of these girls online and I was pretty sure that they would enjoy dating each other.  Not to mention that there would be chips and salsa.  Tex Mex makes everything better. 

I must pat myself on the back.  There was not one awkward moment.  The evening was completely refreshing.  We talked about everything from trash, to tragedy and on to triumph.  Some of us are stay at home moms and some of us have careers but none of us are defined by these things.  We are all women who treasure life, cherish friendship and appreciate diversity.  I left feeling so lucky to have them each in my life and I look forward to doing it again my next visit.

This scenario does not have to be unique to me.  One of the most common things women spill to me is that they are lonely.  Each of you think it is just you, but it is not!  I am blowing your cover.  All of you want a friend.  More than that you need a friend.  Humans are designed for interaction and with today's technology you have no excuses. 

Now true,  you may have to step outside of your comfort zone and initiate the first date, but do it!  Facebook eliminates uncomfortable introductions.  You can pretty much be a fly on their wall.  You know if they are friendly to other people, if you get their humor and where they like to eat dinner.  I sincerely doubt that they are putting the effort into creating a false image on Facebook.

Everyone at the table tonight agreed.  There is nothing more valuable than healthy relationships but they take effort.  Make the effort.  You have accepted their friend request, liked their status, posted on their wall, sent a private message and now it is time for a face to face.  Your new bestie may just be a click away!


  1. it has been brought to my attention that it is difficult to leave comments on the blog page...hmmm..must look into this...

  2. Thanks for sharing! It was a LOT of fun, not only to reconnect with old friends but to make new ones. Thanks for getting us all together :)

  3. Jenni,

    I am just now reading this (busy, busy) but wanted to tell you that this post was a gift. I am way too timid with personal relationships and often feel lonely because of that fact. Of course, I love my family and spending time with them is a high priority, but girlfriends are important. And, you're right, I think my standard for what that looks like doesn't always need be the reality. Thank you again for going out of your comfort zone to invite me out on a date. It meant a lot....for realz. :-)